


Damn Dirty Trick

by collapsingStars



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Tricks, more like egbert but whatevet, sour candy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-07
Updated: 2013-06-07
Packaged: 2017-12-14 05:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/833225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collapsingStars/pseuds/collapsingStars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How exactly does one go about stealing a kiss from the tight lipped Vantas?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Damn Dirty Trick

**Author's Note:**

> Unedited, pure fluff i wanted at three in the morning and typed on my phone.   
> Fight me.

Your mind was currently burdened with Karkat Vantas. Vantas was p cute, even when he was mad or tired, especially when he was mad, and you’d be lying if you didn’t pity him when he moped about cause everyone kinda forgot him once in a while. So why the hell not?  
You were gonna tap that, maybe not today, but eventually, stronger than an imperialist English man going for all the gold in Africa.  
But you were hoping that he didn’t still hate you enough to end up landing you smack dab in the hate quadrant. Red would be nicer.   
You also knew that there was no way that Kitkat was gonna kiss you, with his current opinions about you which was “bros” so…   
You were gonna steal a kiss. And maybe be an asshole, and have a laugh. If he didn’t mind. Maybe if he did.  
From what you’ve gathered, trolls didn’t have much in way of candy on Alternia, it was a high delicacy, and sugar was discouraged in order to create a strong soldier. Terezi also explained that all trolls have pretty strong taste buds, not just her, so things like spice were unbearable. Especially bitter, which was reserved as a torture device.   
Which meant you were willing to bet that Vantas had never had a sour candy in his life. And with Rose’s drunken help, you managed to create a small cherry warhead. Sour first, then sweet later, which you hope will help him forgive you. You were going to have Karkat eat it because he’s a gullible, adorable shit, and kiss him while he puckered. Then see where things went from there. You knocked on his bedroom door.   
“Yo, Kitkat gonna let me in?”   
“No.”  
“Aww why not?”   
“Cause I was kinda busy.”  
“With what?”  
” Oh for the love of fuck, I’m watching a movie.”   
” Perfect, let me in.”   
” it’s open. Now what do you want?”  
You stepped into his room, candy safely hidden in its wrapper in your palm. You gave him a once over while he paused his romantic comedy. He was wearing a flannel t instead of his sweater, and it looked goooood. Damn.   
“I gotta surprise for you chocolate wafer.”   
” For the loved of God Strider i know that is just another way to say Kitkat, stop the fucking nicknames.”  
“Aww… alright fine. Only if you close your eyes and open your mouth.”   
” Why the hell would i do that??”  
” Cause i have a sweet i want you to try.” You watched the gears in Karkat’s had turn.   
” Fine.” He did as you told him, good nature showing. You hope he remained in a good mood. Ripping the candy from its plastic prison, you placed it on the center of his tongue where he couldn’t detect the sour right away, and he closed his mouth. You watched his face and… bingo.

Karkat’s face screwed up tighter than a corkscrew and he started screaming. You laughed as he shook his head trying to open his eyes, streaming from the sour candy, unable to even give you the finger, or spit it out or walk away. His face tilted up at the perfect angle, lips set in a perfect pucker for you to calls his face and slant your lips across his. It took approx. .1 seconds for Vantas to stop screaming and give him reason to open his eyes, seeing you kiss him. When you pulled back, he gasped, just a little and stayed that way. You giggled high from success.   
” Hey Kitkat. Come back.” You called as he pulled from his stupor, flicking the candy in his mouth, discovering the sweet, cracking the candy and chewing on it. Blushing brightly, he frowned at you.   
” That was a damn dirty trick.”   
” Well worth it though.”   
“Ha ha, I’m so fucking glad you can laugh and steal from me.”  
” Steal what from you?”   
” My first kiss asshole!” Well kiss was the plan, first was not. Oops. He tried to turn angrily from you, but you flash stepped in front of him, catching him in your arms.   
” Sorry Karkat. I didn’t know… I was afraid to all you for a kiss so…”  
” so you decided to use a torture device on me?”   
” No! Well yes kinda, but its just candy on earth.”   
” Just candy my ass… for future reference you could have just asked if i wanted to be in a relationship with you.”  
” Wouldn’t of been nearly as entertaining. But while your here. Karkat will you be my matesprit?”   
“Oh matesprit… sure. Yes.” He smiled and your heart nearly died.  
” Can i kiss you again?”   
” Please do.” Karkat whispered as he attacked your mouth.  
And as far as your concerned you haven’t eaten any sweets since. Nothing matches the sweetness of Karkat’s lips.


End file.
